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1. IT STARTED FROM THE MOMENT YOU TRIED TO POTTY TRAIN.
2. RIPPING YOUR PANTS IS ALWAYS A BIG CONCERN AND A FREQUENT OCCURRENCE.
3. BUTT SWEAT OR WET CLOTHES CAN BE A HUGE EMBARRASSMENT.
4. SKIN HUGGING DRESSES TURN INTO UPWARD CRAWLING DRESSES WITH YOUR BUTT.
5. YOUR BUTT WILL LITERALLY SWALLOW THE WRONG UNDERWEAR OR BOTTOMS.
6. YOUR BUTT BUMPS INTO AND BREAKS THINGS CONSTANTLY.
7. THERE’S NO PLAYING LIKE A KID AGAIN WITH THAT BUTT.
8. PEOPLE WANT TO POKE YOUR BUTT ALL THE TIME AND YOU HAVE TO SET LIMITS.
9. LIGHT, FLOWING DRESS? NO CAN DO. INSTANT WEDGIE.
10. YOU GET SANDWICHED IN AREAS EVERYONE ELSE SQUEEZES THROUGH WITH NO PROBLEMS.
11. SLIP ON LEGGINGS? THIS WILL HAPPEN.
12. LOW-RISE JEANS? NOT FOR YOU.
13. TRYING TO BE FUNNY, STUFF LIKE THIS HAPPENS:
14. EVERY TIME YOU THINK YOU’VE FOUND THE PERFECT JEANS, THE BACK LOOKS LIKE THIS:
15. PUTTING ON SKINNY JEANS IS A MASSIVE UNDERTAKING.
16. OTHERS HAVE NOTICED THAT YOUR BUTT MAKES THE PERFECT PILLOW.
17. YOUR PETS EVEN NOTICE WHAT A PERFECT NAPPING SPOT YOUR BUTT IS.
18. ONE TINY CHAIR IS NEVER ENOUGH.
19. GETTING YOUR BUTT STUCK IN AN INNER TUBE IS A COMMON POOL MISHAP.
20. LIGHT, FLOWING DRESS? NO CAN DO. INSTANT WEDGIE.
21. ’NUFF SAID.
