The Top 10 Inner Thigh Exercises for Sexy B*tches

Now, no need to go crazy trying to get a “thigh gap” (it’s not natural!), but we’ve got good news: There are lots of simple exercises that target your inner thighs and don’t even require motivating your booty to the gym. Certified Pilates instructor Mary Miller from The Studio MDR offers her top ten exercises on how to tone your inner thighs

Warm Up

For starters, working out is kind of like having sex. You need some foreplay, a.k.a. a warm up, before you get started. Miller recommends starting off in push up position. Starting with the right leg, kick your leg under your body and out to the side, opening up your hips. Cross your right leg under your torso, kicking it out to the opposite side and opening up your hips. Straighten your leg and keep it as high as possible, not touching the floor. Alternating legs, do this exercise for one minute before moving on to your workout.

The Doggie Kick

From the push up position, drop down to your knees so that you’re on all fours. Lift the right leg out to the side, keeping it straight at a 90-degree angle. Point your toe and lift your right leg up and down for one minute. Lightly touch the floor with your toes. Repeat on the left side.

Shape-Up Circles

Starting in the same position as the Doggie, hold your right leg straight out at 90 degrees, keeping your foot in line with your hip and slowly circling forward for 30 seconds. Switch and circle backwards for 30 seconds. Note: These should be tiny to small circles. Repeat on the left side.

Back Circles

Without dropping it, move your RIGHT? leg out behind you so that your heel is lined upwith your butt. Slowly circle your leg for 30 seconds one direction and then switch directions and circle slowly for 30 seconds. Repeat on the left side.

Laying Leg Lift

Drop down to your right side, supporting your weight on your hip and elbow. Cross your left leg in front of your right thigh, grabbing the back of your ankle with your left hand. Lift your bottom leg up and down for one minute. Do not let the right foot touch the floor. Repeat on the left side.

Slicing Scissor Raises

Lay on your back and open up your legs, straight into a V position (maybe you’ve tried this one in bed?) Pointing your toes, pulse for a minute straight.

Wide Plie Squat

Stand with your feet spread wide apart and toes turned out. Hold your hands behind your head, tuck your pelvis, and slowly squat down until your knees are bent at ninety degrees (about a 4 second count). (Ballerinas call this “plie” [plee-ay].) Then slowly lift yourself back up until your legs are straight again. Continue the exercise for one minute.

The Plie Pulse

In the same wide plie position, pulse up and down for 20 seconds. (You should be familiar with that pulsing sensation from your practicing your kegels!) Then hold in a squat position for 20 seconds with your knees at a 90-degree angle. Repeat this sequence three times.

| HT | 07:10 Read More

Hark! A New Photo of the Royal Family, Complete With Prince George and Lupo the Dog

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge JUST THIS VERY SECOND released a family photograph with their son, Prince George, and their celebrity dog, Lupo (HI LUPO!! GOOD BOY!!!), ahead of their forthcoming tour to New Zealand and Australia. Taken at Kensington Palace in mid-March 2014, it's pretty much the sweetest thing of all time. A boy and his dog, y'all. Tale as old as time. (You KNOW there is a matronly teapot just behind the scenes who is orchestrating the whole affair.)

| HT | 16:54 Read More

10 Things Never to Say toWomen Who Don't Want Kids

ARE YOU MY UNBORN CHILD FROM THE FUTURE? No? Well then I guess you don't have shit to say to me.

1. "But you'll be so much happier once you have kids."

Actually, there are no studies that definitely prove that people with kids are happier. Or that people without kids are happier. That said, I'd pretty damn happy right now, and if I had a kid, I'd definitely be less happy. You know, because I don't want kids. Happiness is many different things to many different people, and right now, for me, it's this tumbler of Bourbon, this stack of old Sassy magazines, and this old hairy dog snoring on my feet. 

2. "I can't imagine not wanting kids."

Great, so you know how I feel. Except about not wanting kids. We have so much in common!

3. "What do you do all day?"

4. "Who will take care of you when you get older?"

Probably a nursing home. Just like you. Let's be real. Or maybe I'll take all that money I save by not having kids and get a(n EXTREMELY HANDSOME) live-in nurse and also an infinity pool and on my final day, I'll have my nurse-boyfriend hook me into an IV of margaritas and I'll drift off to sleep in my floating pool chair. Hasta la vista, baby!

5. "Kids give your life meaning!"

No, kids give YOUR life meaning. Lots and lots of other things give my life meaning. And also, I hope kids aren't the only thing that give your life meaning, because that makes me sad. And finally, in 300 years, nobody will remember any of us, kids or no kids, so there's that. HAPPY SATURDAY!

6. "What do you have to talk to other people about?"

EVERYTHING BESIDES THE EXPERIENCE OF SHOOTING A BABY OUT OF MY VAGINA.

7. "You'll change your mind."

Maybe I will change my mind about having kids, but I'll never change my mind about you being tacky as hell. If you find yourself about to say this to a childless woman, please punch yourself in the face and then go home and watch Gigli five times as punishment. 

8. "You should do it before it's too late."

OMG, are you the ghost of Christmas Future and you know that I run out of eggs at 32 and then spend the rest of my life being a jackass to Marley because I never had kids of my own to be grumpy at? Or are you just some nosy idiot who cares far too much about whether or nor I procreate? Wait, that can't be it. I bet this is this some sort of Back to the Future situation and I have to meet and fall in love with your father so you can be born? OK, if that's what's going on, this is an acceptable thing to say. (Also, I'm sorry that you'll never be born.)

9. "If you've never given birth, you don't know what true pain is."

Dude, that's true. Sucks to be you.

10. "Tick tock! Your biological clock is running out of time!"

Good, that means I'm closer to not having to deal with my monthly period. Bring it, Father Time. 

| HT | 14:07 Read More

Lady Gaga's Birthday Outfit Is Something Else

I just... it's like... I'm all... I don't know. I wonder if Lady Gaga — happy 28th, btw!! — ever gets tired of being SO TOTALLY IN YOUR FACE? Maybe her next form of rebellion will just be wearing skinny jeans and a simple cardigan and going to see the 4:30pm showing of the new Muppets movie at the Glendale galleria? Like, I just want to see her in a pair of black slacks and a pullover while driving her sensible sedan through downtown Omaha. I'd like to put her in a bridesmaids dress from David's Bridal and take her to a wedding in Jersey. Or dress her in an old 5K t-shirt and velour sweatpants and go eat at an Applebees in Poughkeepsie. That shit would be truly truly truly outrageous.

But also: Thanks for keeping shit interesting(-ish), Gaga. I know you are trying SO HARD, and girl, I appreciate you. I see you.

| HT | 13:54 Read More